2020 in 1000 words! (stories of December)

January 2020 was just a simple complicated blur, 95% of the time I didn't even    know what I was doing...or what day it was, the weather completely foreign, I mean who would expect a cold January?

Don't get me wrong...2020...or rather January wasn't all that bad, because in the blurriness, I found a few focused seconds and I learnt more lessons in those 31 days than I have learnt in the last three decades!

I listened to people whine about how 2019 was hellish and how optimistic they were for 2020, but here I was, not completely sure what I even wanted to do. I just did the mundane stuff... Wake up, dress up, and show up...nothing new, nothing exciting...just a simple complicated blur! So the days just glided past...and just like that it was February the month of torture for us single people!

 

1st January, pretty much my expression for the entire month!

So I buried my head in my work…at least I tried to, mostly I would just start and restart projects and end up not creating anything at all! I was in a deep rut! Just like that February was gone too…Dios mio!

Then the dreaded month came, a strange cold was making rounds in Rongai, and I too became a victim. I took a day rest; got antibiotics shot and I went back to work. That same day, the first case of covid was announced in Kenya, and guess where  the victim was from…Rongai! You can imagine the panic! Every slight cough or sneeze scared the bejeebers out of me!

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Shortly after the curfew and lockdown followed and my work station shifted to my small space in Rongai.

Working from home made me realize how much of a “slave like” life I was living. I never thought of it that way. I mean I was working at a well-established company with a somewhat stable position and  my work place was a very instagramable space, you know white walls, white tiles glass partitioning, spacious lobby and it was in Westland! I mean a very Nairobian dream work situation. So not once did I ever feel I needed more!

 

The office space was so beautiful to look at!

As days turned to weeks and eventually a month passed, the more I felt alive! Funny my salary was slashed by more than a half but I found myself loving every second of my day in my small space. I started shooting and editing videos that I wanted to rather than  videos imposed on me, I got more time to spend in church, one of my absolute favorite place, I picked up a crocheting hobby, I never knew I had such a skill, I started studying Spanish, a language  I absolutely love, I laughed more, slept more, worked out… I was a happy soul!

Then the curfew got extended to 9pm and I was called back to the office in May. The moment I got out of the lift right on to the reception area… I knew I didn’t want to work at that palace anymore. Suddenly, all that felt so comfortable and familiar before become strange and suffocating!

Thoughts of quitting that job weighed heavily on my mind, only to be fueled by the fact that my colleague Kavaki, whom I absolutely loved working with, who I also annoyed 90% of the time, hehe! Was no longer working there, he was already acing the freelance life!

 

Behind the scenes, I think I did more laughing than shooting here!

I was too scared though, fear of the unknown, I kept thinking of how I struggled to get the job and the thought of those gruesome 7 months of unemployment back in 2017 made me coil back into my comfort shell. Deep down however I knew I was not happy, I was barely getting by, doing the bare minimal…which was only 10% of my capabilities.

May was gruesome, I didn’t sleep much. I was always thinking and praying for a way out. The more I prayed the more I knew I wanted out. I was tired of the vicious cycle of working a job I didn’t particularly like, I realized for 3 years I was just doing it because it got my bills paid and I had something to wake up to every morning. Of course also I was made to believe I was lucky since I still had my job when companies were laying-off people! So I dared not tell anyone how miserable I felt on the inside, lest I appeared obnoxious and ungrateful!

So I stay put and May glided past. Then June came, the year was already half gone and all I could show of it was my insomnia caused by constant worrying! Then, an opportunity presented itself…and without a second thought…On the second week of June, I wrote my resignation letter! That night I slept like a baby!

My simple home office, my most happiest (and also tiresome) space!

The next five months, which I will talk about in depth on my next post, became the most satisfying months in my career! Looking back now, I think quitting   my job was probably the best decision I ever made in my entire career life!

Biggest lesson  learnt, the blessings of the lord, add no sorrow!

So the year has come to an end, it was both the longest and the shortest year ever! And I couldn’t be more grateful for the mercies of God. A year that started in a deep rut, turned out to be the best year of my life, only because I got the courage to do the unthinkable…quitting my job in the middle of a pandemic!

 

This picture defines my 2020, even when everything around was black and white and tumbling down, I thank God I could 
see color! 

 

                       Thanks for stopping by

                             stay positive!