Shattered and Sheltered! (Stories of December)

My last story inflicted a lot of mixed reactions, just like I anticipated. While some have expressed their admiration and good wishes, others have openly declared their disapproval, yet others didn’t understand anything I wrote or they simply read a sentence and picked whatever they wanted to pick. Some merely came for the tea, which was not served as they expected, but that’s not nearly as pesty as the ones who came with advice!

 

Don’t get me wrong, I love all the feedback because every writer needs them…but I have to make it clear that I am writing this from a good place. the dark clouds are still looming, yes, but I am not scared anymore because I am sheltered. Believe me; I am not cooped up in some dark corner feeling depressed and lonely crying a river…far from it! One feedback I got though got me concerned and I better address it promptly.

Hermosas hermanas

 

Remember when I mentioned in my previous story that if my sisters told me to sell everything I own and move to Antarctica  I wouldn’t hesitate? Well, guess what, they did, and I sold everything (okay I gave away most) and I moved. Miles away from the familiar Nairobi that has been my home for 11years…relax, its nowhere near Antarctica, in fact, quite the opposite temperature-wise!

 

I come from a very large and diverse family; we have a representation of all characters. The only common trait is, we are unnecessarily stubborn...vichwa ngumu!... we annoy the hell out of each other, for the most part, we cant stand each other...you know just a normal family of 10 kids... 

 

…and as fate has it… I have grown up unhealthily dependent on this crazy bunch because they are all I have!

 

My sister taught me how to write my name (well accompanied by a lot of whooping!), another took me to Sunday school which eventually shaped my spirituality, one taught me how to steal sugar and other naughty stuff and not get caught, one drove me to campus and paid my whole college tuition fee, one never missed my high school visiting days(you guys know how huge that is) one brought me my first novel and activated my love for storytelling, one took all the beatings from bullies in school yet I was always the cheeky one who triggered the bullying, one took over my last born position (mish I love you hehe!) and taught me how to be a responsible big sister, one offered her shoulders and opened her heart and doors when I got fired from my first job…jeez writing this gives me the good chills! Even now as I try to pick up all the broken pieces of my life…guess who is my support system??

 

Sadat, my only brother, is my spiritual compass, we don’t talk much but when we do my spirit gets charged up, I first heard about speaking in tongues from him and I bet he doesn’t even know (if he is reading this now he does) every time he blurts out some incomprehensible tongues, something he does out of habit…my spirit dances!

 So when ‘he’ (refer to my previous post) told me my sisters’ dint have to be there for the traditional bit of my wedding and insisted we hold the function in the middle of a five-city cessation, in the hit of a global pandemic without them… he didn’t realize how shattering that statement was! My dependency on them bothered him… can you blame him? I am not dense enough to assume every family is as tight as mine. Yet it’s the only life I know, I tend to think that God created me by picking something from each of my sisters …so there is no me without them!

 

When they unanimously said no to my rushed (damn…that thing was really rushed) engagement, that’s when it fully hit me … I need to seriously pray. At some point, they took the blame for breaking off the engagement… I was outrightly told by an acquaintance (allow me to skip names) the devil was using my family to break my marriage, that I needed to fight in prayer…genuine advice, right? ...no!

 

See I have grown up (spiritually) to believe that whatever happens in my life God allows it, and if he allows it…then he has a way out of it as well! I am not oblivious to the fact that the devil and his demons may outsmart people sometimes… but to me, he is just a loser with nothing but counterfeit ideas, don’t get me started with the story of Job, or Jesus, just before he began his ministry…dude uses the same old tricks even today!

 

I took the advice alright; I fought on my knees…but instead of wasting my time on someone who had the stupid courage to tempt “the word” with “the word”…the nerve! I put all my energy into seeking the will of the author of my story, and I got a glimpse…a short synopsis of the back story hidden from many…and then, I got the courage to walk out of the engagement!

 You may never understand my logic, but I still believe, my family is a special creation specially designed by God with all the right dimensions specifically for me to take shelter under!

 

People say family hurts you the most…but that’s because we can't help but love them more than anyone else… to me, this is comforting, that no matter how much they hurt… I will always love them, and love, nothing beats unconditional love!

 

Sure… sometimes I wish I had powers to mute them temporarily, I hate how we hurt each other with words…but they still remain my great support system!

 

 People say family breaks…it does, but when it builds…that’s a structure no one or anything can ever break!

Thanks for stopping by, have a family full holiday!