THE END, SO LONG 2021 (stories of December)

The biggest lesson learned in 2021, we can never control the waves, but we can learn how to ride them. The secret is not fighting the currents, rather working with it. Tough thing for a scaredy-cat like me, but we take it one day at a time!

Honestly, I really struggled with this last one…I almost dint post it. I was trying to figure out how to package it in a way every person could understand it, trying to get into my readers mind asking questions like…what would they like to read, how can I put it so that they understand…yada yada yada!

Yet if there is one thing I have learned from one renowned Kenyan writer _the Magunga_  a good writer writes for him/herself, which I don’t know if he meant to write from the heart, but that’s how I perceived it. Writing from the heart means writing what you feel and believe and are deeply persuaded is the best and honest version of your story. One person I feel does this excellently is Grace macharia…her way of writing makes you connect with her in ways deemed impossible.

Takes me back to September 2013…when I started this blog, I wanted to write my story, raw and unfiltered because I strongly believe each story is differently inspired and hence can inspire differently too…but somewhere along the line, I think I lost it…and so narrowed down to only writing four stories in December.

Which Is good, and I love doing that, but emotions felt in January cannot be captured well in December, so some sincerity in my writing is lost! I am taking the reigns again…this time I am steering in the direction my heart leads me…and this could be hard especially with the number of times I have been told…” don’t overshare” …but here I am making a resolution to jump straight in the deep end with my tawdry swimming skills…if  I feel it, I write it!  

If you know me, then you know how much I love Peter McKinnon…a lot of people do, some more than others and I belong to the latter group, I learned a great deal of filmmaking from him and as I was struggling with this last story (too much left unsaid) I watched his last video of 2021 and he spoke about how often time creatives are caught up in trying to please their audiences …well most times and end up completely losing themselves in the process.

That is the last thing I want to happen…losing myself, chasing clout and Instagram likes. That is no way to live! As much as I would wish my work to be seen and read by millions …if it means losing myself to gain that fame…then no I am good with my 20 likes!

The second biggest lesson is… it's not how fast but how consistent. at the end of the day…nothing beats consistency! I shamelessly admit I am the queen of inconsistency! At some point in 2021, I just gave up… I felt like Solomon in Ecclesiastes…meaningless! Thank God I had my _Matt, Tony, Bkay, Jose, Beth_ support system who constantly reminded me how blessed I am to be me…and of course the Kataros fighting spirit in me…that pushed me despite feeling like a dead man walking!

It would be a disservice if I failed to mention one Linet Kinya_the current reigning Miss University Kenya.  It may bring back bad memories but I have to put my point across! Seeing her accept the crown with great poise and grace in her flowing ball gown and one of the biggest smiles I have seen in ages made me think… I want to feel, look, be this happy, walking down the aisle…and I won't accept anything less! Just by being her…and being her gracefully and confidently, she inspired Troka…the scaredy-cat to get a piece of her lost self back!

@official linet Kinya_ Reigning Miss universities Kenya and a dear Friend.

Next lesson, the good thing about being at your lowest, is that the only other place you can go is up! Hii ilinijenga si uongo! It's not all lost…there is still hope for a tree if it is cut down it will sprout again and its new shoot will not fail again!

Honestly, I feel I am still at the point where I was just cut, no new shoot has appeared yet and the possibility of sprouting is further than Antarctica. I also don't know for how long I will be in this state of despair and confusion...but hey, I am breathing, I have love surrounding me...eventually, the tears will dry. 

This brings me to my next lesson, see the thing with tears is, even if you don't wipe them, they eventually dry up and disappear...no matter how painful or heart-wrenching a situation is...that pain can not last forever, it may leave scars and stains...but the pain doesn't last forever! less you allow it of course.

I know this story is all over the place, and there is still a lot left unsaid, but let's leave it here for now and cliché as it may sound…I believe 2022 is the year this little light of mine is going to shine bright…and  I don’t see why yours can't either!

2021 was a tough year…but it was the year God was louder than ever!

 

Thanks for stopping by...happy new year!