GIFTED MIND.

The biggest chunk of a sanguine character that I no doubt have (apart from talking a lot) is the imaginative, creative and artistic side. Not to boast but surely, I have it. Okay maybe am not using it to its fullest, but that’s probably because it took me a while to accept it and realize I got it (what I tell people) but honestly it’s because I used to take all the credit.(still doing it, notice how many 'I' I have used already?)

Gifted mind, gifted hands.

I never acknowledged the one person who gave me the skills. I used to think it was me, my hard work, the extra time I spent reading, the many novels I read, the idioms and proverbs I crammed, how I concentrated in class...that's what came to mind whenever I was top of my class in English...which was almost every time...I am not sure I ever once told God, thank you. I even started writing a book, which I never got to finish to date because I was depending on ME alone. This is wrong because it was never about me. I may be fluent than the English man himself, more creative than Shakespeare or Maya Angelo, I may know the dictionary word for word but without him, it’s all in vain. I was not finding peace in my creativity, I always had conflict, what to write, how to write...it was never fun, at all. My content was misplaced...but that could be because of what I used to read... people say you are what you think, I say, you become what you read... I loved reading romantic books (I still do) guess because of my feminism, and true to my word, my world turned to a big romantic fantasy.

Think it,visualize it, write it.

By the time I come to college I was really anticipating to be literally swept off my feet by a prince charming. Of course we all know it never happened and so come disappointments then low self-esteem which finally erupted to a major depression, this of course affected my writing. Everything I wrote became gray, somber and sounded so whinny! I was sinking deep.

Fortunately, God pulled me up, just when the feeble straw I was clasping to keep me afloat broke. (Story for another day)

I began to learn how to credit everything to him, but I did not still feel fulfilled in my writing. Until my third year in salvation. He spoke to me and promised me, in exact words...’I will give you a new skill, but you have to use it for my glory’...I never figured out exactly what the skill was for almost a year...yet throughout that year, I was using the skill without knowing it! I realized that about six months ago and honestly, my writing (which is the skill he gave me) has really evolved! So has my relationship with God.

One thing that does not come easy...peace.

My creativity comes directly from him and many times I find myself praying before I embark on any composition. It has become a habit; a lifestyle that at times I don't realize am doing it.

Like the other day, I was creating a program logo for a class TV project and before I started I audibly said...’dad all creativity comes from you, please do this through me, amen’... when I opened my eyes, a guy sitting next to me was looking at me and I curiously asked, “what?” He said, “What you just did was noble,” clueless I asked again, “what?” The guy shock his head and walked out, I realized several hours later he was referring to my prayer...

Ever since I acknowledged he is the mastermind of all creativity, MY creativity, I have found immense pleasure and fulfillment not only in my writing but my entire life. I may not have close to a hundred followers, or any readers comment yet, but I have one thing that does not come easy...peace.