No I wont

I wont forget

the deep dark hole of despair

The rumbling of my empty stomach

The rush of hot wet tears cascading down my distraught face 
The redness of my teary eyes
The cacophony of muffled voices of reason in my head
The constant shrill sound disturbing my ear drum
The unconvincing fake smiles and dry laughter that emanated from my cracked heart

No I wont forget the bleeding in my heart after every disappointment
The hollowness of my voice trying to repeat to myself... 'you are not a failure'
No I wont forget how each time I broke a little from the constant negative responses
The twitching of my nose in nervousness
Crossing my fingers in anticipation
Every troubled night where the moment I closed my eyes bleakness surrounded me
The throbbing of my inner sole because of the distances I had to trek

The emptiness of my words when I called out to him who sits on the throne
The lost tunes in every song I tried to sing

No I wont forget... the pain... the fear that grip my heart when i think of my future
A future marred with uncertainty
The guilt that eats me up thinking of things I should have done
Words I should have said

No I wont forget... how my heart forgot to write
How words suddenly lost meaning
How I almost gave up hope
How faith became just another word...

No I wont Forget

For I never want to be here again
For I want to be forever grateful that you saw the storm ranging within me
And you never let go
For you are the one who kept me going
Even when the shadows were all around me
I wont forget... for whenever I talk of your goodness and faithfulness... I want to remember what you got me through
I wont forget... that when I let go... you were there to catch me
I wont forget that in the deep sorrow... you gave me this poem
So that I don't ever forget!

              

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