To hell with waiting for love

My sentiments may not be globally accepted, but still I love sharing what I learn and hopefully I get to inspire someone through this!

I always felt a void in my heart, an empty space that needed (so I thought) to be filled with love. A hollow void growing deeper everyday with nothing to fill it up. I equated love to a  feeling, an emotion, an idea of a person, a person I created in my head from watching and reading a little too many romantic stories.  I knew were always too good and smooth to be true, but I believed them anyway. 

 If my heart did not beat faster, or my knees shake or my nose sweat, then that wasn’t love , if electric currents did not go through my body whenever our skins touched or my mouth go dry at the sound of his voice then it wasn't love, if my heart didn't beat fast or my eyes twinkle when I heard his name, then that wasn't love. To me love had to be tall dark and handsome and speak flawless English and have a killer smile and killer swag. I gave love boundaries, I dictated what it should and shouldn't be,  what it should feel like, how it should act and how it should respond.

 In so doing I rendered love powerless in my heart, but as paralyzed as it was in my heart, I saw it roam around freely, as suffocated as it was in my heart, out here it was alive, breathing with life and vigor. And however much I tried I could not see it succumb to my control, because you can't tame love, it's a free spirit,if you try to tame it, it will crush you!

So while I was waiting for the feeling, for the emotion, love still happened. For a while, I hated love, because I could not control it, I couldn't make love come and go at my biding, and my heart didn't help either, always loving where it was not wanted or shunning away from where it was wanted... Always pushing to get to boundaries it couldn't conquer. 

The biggest mistake I ever did in love is waiting for it to happen my way, ignoring the fact that just because it was not my way... It was loves way, which ultimately is the right way. 

I categorized love... Yet love is one... Romantic, platonic, agape... All of it is just love, with the same character, same intensity! 

So to hell with waiting for love my way... I am taking love, loves way... Love is in all we see, all we do...its choosing to be kind even when someone was mean to you, showing a little patience toward that annoying co-worker who drives you nuts, forgiving even when you are hurt most, treating others better than you were treated. Living each day thinking of how to enrich others…because Love is patient, love is kind. It does not envy, it does not boast, it is not proud. It does not dishonor others, it is not self-seeking, it is not easily angered, it keeps no record of wrongs. It’s love!

So no more waiting for...just living love. 

  

Live, Love, serve!